I've grown up in a large family, both immediate and extended. I have spent many hours babysitting, starting with my own siblings and then plenty of times with my friends children and my own niece's and nephews. I helped a family member running a home daycare while in my early 20's. I have also taught pre-k Sunday school. Later in life I have continued to have a close connection with my family and friends children. Starting in summer of 2020 I became a fully licensed foster parent and have been parenting the same two brothers since, with a third who has moved on to a kinship. As they began to feel more safe around me they showed more behaviors they didn't show at first. We are working on attachments, lying, physical aggression at times, and other behaviors. I have been watching and reading on TBRI in my own time to improve my responses to their meltdowns and occasional tantrums. This year we have added a 9 year old boy on the autism spectrum to our home. We have been learning how to properly handle outburst and meltdowns, some violent behaviors and many other issues. This has been by far my biggest challenge, but I was able to quickly adapt. One thing I discovered is visiting with the other foster home that has his sibling as often as possible has seemed to help some of his behaviors. I have read E.M.D.R. Therapy by Francine Shapiro and The Deepest Well by Nadine Burke Harris. Rereading The Connected Child and following that with The Connected Parent. I have completed Swindells Trauma Informed Parenting parts 1,2 and 3. TBRI module 1: connecting principles, active participant in DCYF state offered class Supportive Facilitated Discussion Group: TBRI Connected Child Book Club
My parents, siblings, and close friends are my support group. All of them have helped me with caring for the boys including babysitting, spending quality time with them, sometimes making us dinner when we are overly busy, picking them up or dropping them off when I am stuck at an appointment. My support group that I use often mostly reside in Forks with some that come from out of the area a few months a year. These are my siblings that have some of my nieces and nephews and have encouraged their own kids to bond with my boys. I cannot emphasize enough the amazing support group that I have. Before I started foster care I had about 5-6 people that said I could rely on them for help. Since starting foster care other friends and family members have stepped up and have also been a huge help whenever I need it.
If I were to adopt a child of Native American ancestry I have several family members that are part Native American as well as a deep connection to my foster kids families and am able to enroll them in a tribal school and they can participate in culture events including drumming and more.
My best friend is an immigrant from Mexico and I have a great relationship with her family. Her kids are bilingual as are her nieces and nephews that we camp and swim with in the summer time. I love Latino culture, traditions, and food and my friend would help me share this with any Latino/Hispanic children that I might adopt.
I have many friends in my town of different races. If I have a child of another race and culture I would seek out opportunities for us to learn and experience their cultural traditions together. I would make an active effort for my kids to learn and feel included with their cultural traditions.
I have always wanted to be a mother including an adoptive mother. My younger self saw me married with lots of kids to include both bio and adopted. As time has progressed I have not gotten the chance to have my own kids. Given a family Hx of fertility issues in our 30's its less likely of biological children ever happening. I am at peace with this as I feel I was always meant to be a mother and that what's meant to be will come to me. I have a strong desire to adopt and want the opportunity to mother my own kids. I am working hard so that one day, hopefully soon, I can have the opportunity and privilege of being someone's mom. My biggest challenge isn't being single as I have an army of support behind me. My biggest challenge is the people deciding if a single parent will be a suitable placement for a sibling group or medically needy or high behavior child. We make it work, my boys and my support group of family and friends. I have no doubt that I am capable of taking on several more children as well. Also my 4 and 5 year old are set to be permanently back in their bio mothers care in less than one month. My 9 year old and his sibling are transitioning into a relative placement as well.
I would never give up on a child or children, adopted or not. I have the support I need to be a successful mother. I just need my forever kids. Forever means forever.